t h i s i s n o t r o c k n r o l l

black_my_heart @ 2009-03-26T15:56:00

2009-03-26T19:57:48Z

one more thing.

DO NOT SEE "KNOWING" it will give you night terrors like never before...i seriously feel like the world will end any day now.

update

2009-03-26T19:55:35Z

as jenny said "its like the old days"
in regards to my recent homelessness and my constant hanging out with the best friends.

PS. my birthday is this coming wednesday and i have to gtfo of jax. any ideas? suggestions? if no out of town is happening im getting "shitfaced" and puking oysters all over.

black_my_heart @ 2009-03-04T16:28:00

2009-03-04T21:28:06Z

Dear lj,
You piece of shit. Life is good. The only good thing about is that I'm not flunking school and actually getting it done. I stilll haven't picked a major and have even contemplated going to art institute. oh man. I don't have any boys to make me sad, I only have a brandon and he's just straight flakely sometimes...although he's just adorable I can't really see it ever getting serious. Who needs it. I love a lot of things except for not having the freedom of being able to drive, since getting my license back and buying a new car is going to be a few thousand in itself. Maybe the end of this year that will change. 2009 is the year of new. No more mistakes. No more bad friendships. Real ones. Saving money. Staying optimistic. Staying in school. I have no idea where I'm gonna be in 3 months. I hope my life carries me away to a new state just for a little bit...preferably a college town where I can ride my bike everywhere and work at a coffee shop or something awesome. Fuck hooters. It sucks. Its not me, and its been 9 months, still not me.

Omfg. I'm taking the bus and I swear to you I've been downtown for an hour already...I hate downtown more than life itself. To add on top of that I'm the only white girl on this motherfucker. And much to my luck I wasn't born hideous so all the creeps and old assholes are looking at me in bewilderment.

Its been cold all week and everyone thinks its got something to do w global warming. I don't know but I need it to be warm again! Chillin on the boat dock and beer!

My bday is april fools day and I wanna throw a party at the new house....backyard party with tiki torches....sangria pitchers..oysters! ...fire pit ...brew...whatever! Everyone is invito

someone take me.

2008-12-03T20:47:00Z

fucked up!

Tue-Jan-27 Gainesvile, FL Sluggo’s (with Iron Livers)

black_my_heart @ 2008-11-17T15:35:00

2008-11-17T20:34:48Z

oh and ashleys listening to slipknow radio. i thought you should know.

black_my_heart @ 2008-11-17T15:34:00

2008-11-17T20:34:01Z

i just write in blogger now so im never on here.
mylifeisafuckingmess.

black_my_heart @ 2008-10-28T12:37:00

2008-10-28T18:38:42Z

its that time of year again. you know when its getting way to cold to wear your mini dress you just bought yesterday because it was 90 degrees, and when cloves come back in style and youre just waiting for some random fling to come and go.

black_my_heart @ 2008-09-24T15:09:00

2008-09-24T19:32:50Z

problem with me is everything is perfect. (except that little part with the law and i might go to jail butttt)...looking past that theres the changing of seasons, new friends :), boat rides, being broke but happy, enjoying school, mending burned bridges, not being depressed, and soon to have a house full of kittens. getting mad drunk and raging is the thing of the past, im TRYING TO BE more sensible, after all im turning 22 years old before i know it, and really theres no grudges to hold and no failed relations to mourn over. i wish i could just shake people sometimes and tell them their petty gossiping is a waste of time, and all they really need to do is listen to jack johnson or some kind of optimistic hip hop of any sort, be the greatest friend you could be, venture out and explore the community, observing everything, smiling as much as possible, or even better talking to your cat like she can understand english. okay so i might be going off the deep end.

anyways i cant fucking wait til halloweeennnn.

update

2008-09-09T18:51:32Z

broke as a joke. but not sad.

black_my_heart @ 2008-08-08T17:52:00

2008-08-08T21:53:10Z

is this it? is this all there is to look forward to? leaping over hurdles and hating everything? and to think i could be happy when all this is gone... i highly doubt it.

problematic

2008-07-29T07:24:36Z

Update.
I'm broken, I've acquired two new roomates unoffically, my cat ran away two days ago and came back this morning (probably pregnant), rode alicias bike to the main library and from there it was stolen in broad daylight lock and all (if anyone sees it doesn't hesitate to get it back for me), thus causing a 400 dollar debt, down on my luck? I have to do community service starting this week at a drug rehab center, and also take a dui class this month and talk to a counselor about my lifestyle etc., speaking of which I quit drinking - Best choice I've made in a long time, eventually I HAVE to quit smoking the newports I find lying around in my apartment, I never sleep anymore. - I would kill for a sleeping pill, a way to quit speaking to corrupted males, a brodude jeep to drive when I get my license back, motivation to live, butterflies in my stomach, a chai latte that doesn't make you fat, and most importantly a time traveling machine.

black_my_heart @ 2008-07-10T12:41:00

2008-07-10T16:42:50Z

still single.
still horrible.
got a new kitty.
got a dui.
i see heather everyday.
going to school this fall.
my dad thinks im an alcoholic.
my brother will be a father in less than a year.
i dont know.

i still wanna move.

head or heart.

2008-06-06T16:48:14Z

heather was funny last night. everytime i go out it makes me wanna move out of here faster. i dont know why though.

im in a horrible mood for no reason. today sucks.

boys only think with their things

2008-04-21T18:18:39Z

palmetto bugs are trying to ruin my life, so today im making a trail of boric acid to surround my bed and i might be getting another job tomorrow because i want to move soon (beach or out of state).. ive taken the antisocial plunge and im not hanging out on the weekdays any more so dont ask me to, for a few reasons, one is to save money and to ultimately figure out who i am again with some alone time of course. i wanna lose like 5 lbs by the end of this month or someone is going to die.

im all smiles

2008-04-11T19:17:09Z

some things make me miserable and those are the things i will never understand nor should even been involved in.
i know the best people and the worst people in this world for whatever reason
i realized last night that i should be a piece of shit and i will be. it doesnt pay to be good anymore.
i also know that i will never fit in with most people and should give up all attempts to stop from becoming what i really am and try to be something im not....basically im saying im comfortable in my own skin. finally.
im being my normal self again and its soooo good. no pent up anger or frustration.
last night = best night. funny kids and bad behavior. im fifteen.

hahahahahahahahahaha

2008-04-07T15:49:14Z

ooppps

2008-04-02T15:38:32Z

on another note. this is bigmac and i love her

birthday is over, and im old

2008-04-02T15:30:28Z

im gonna be gone tonight until sunday. stoked as shit.

jennys gonna get attacked by every razorteeth creature in the sea, erica will have started 10 bar fights, im gonna have white hair, heathers going to turn black and ashley will morph into a mermaid.

on a further note, i need to find a night job or a job at a bar. from what im hearing my job is shutting down and i wont be having an office job in the next few months...so beach every day this summer.

black_my_heart @ 2008-03-31T15:26:00

2008-03-31T19:31:04Z

im 21 tomorrow! what to doooo

happy alone

2008-03-25T15:48:58Z

we havent talked since. im cool with this.

wanting to move up north by the end of this year.
also, i have to go to barcelona with ashley asap.

i took a new pledge. its a personal thing.
i just wanna go home and shower and watch tv

2008

2008-03-24T12:41:03Z

been making alot of money
turning 21
vacation next next weekend.
fixed some friendships.
some got stronger.
eliminating all i dont need
wishing i could move my house and place it on the beach.
i wanna move and so do all my close friends so thats something in the future.
im starting school this summer....weird.
my dads getting better.
so far...everythings grand.

black_my_heart @ 2008-03-18T13:35:00

2008-03-18T17:38:50Z

13 days til im never sober again.
15 days til warm water and leather skin...a gay&white trash paradise, land of strawberry daquiries, margaritas.

im no good.

black_my_heart @ 2008-03-17T10:01:00

2008-03-17T14:01:26Z

this is what it feels like to have closure after almost 2 years.

black_my_heart @ 2008-03-14T11:06:00

2008-03-14T15:07:12Z

ive got that harder shell going on. all my efforts to desensitize myself are successful and in return im shedding a new light on life and everything else.

black_my_heart @ 2008-03-13T14:05:00

2008-03-13T18:05:48Z

i have the most boring friends page ever.